DEBUNKING LIES ABOUT TRUMP

If you’re like me you’re probably sick of the lies about Donald Trump. Since Donald Trump vowed to Make America Great Again the liberal elite have been doing all they can to smear and slander the great man. One of the main tactics of these disgusting snowflake liberals is to spread misinformation, lies and even fake conspiracies about our great President in order to turn people against him.

 

If you’re reading this you’re probably already one of the smart ones and you don’t need an education in how to sniff out fake news. God already gave you a nose big enough to sniff out the bullcrap. But some people don’t got the smarts to respond to liberal lies even though they know they ain’t being told the truth. To help those people, here are some debunks of five of the biggest conspiracy theories surrounding Donald Trump:

 

 

1. DONALD TRUMP ONCE MASTURBATED A TORTOISE AND CREATED A MAN-TORTOISE BABY


 

This one has been doing the rounds. The despicable lie goes that Donald Trump masturbated a tortoise and then drank a cup of his semen. He then visited a Russian prostitute and performed a sex act on her with his mouth. Some of the tortoise semen was still in his mouth during the sex act and it went inside the woman and got her pregnant. Seven months later that prostitute gave birth and now Donald Trump has a son who is half tortoise and lives off lettuce pizza. This is absolutely fake news. We can prove this is fake news by asking the following questions: 

 

1.       Why would Donald Trump sleep with a prostitute when he has gone on record stating how much he respects women and he is already a MARRIED man? 

2.       Before becoming President Donald Trump lived in the State of New York where it is illegal to own or purchase a tortoise. How could he have masturbated a tortoise and drunk it’s semen if it’s illegal to have such a tortoise?

3.       For a tortoise to be aroused it must smell the pheromones of a female tortoise. Donald Trump does not emit these pheromones otherwise he would obviously BE FOLLOWED AROUND BY TORTOISES. There is no documentary proof of this EVER happening.

 

CONCLUSION: FAKE NEWS

 

 

 

2. DONALD TRUMP HAS TO CHECK HIS ANUS IN A MIRROR BEFORE HE LEAVES THE HOUSE

This myth says Donald Trump has to check his anus every time he leaves his house. The myth goes further and says he has to check his anus WHEREVER he goes. Whether he is in a restaurant, in a plane, on a bus, at a conference, in bed with his wife or spending time with his children - he has to make his excuses and go somewhere he can check his anus - either in a mirror at the establishment he is visiting or in a special mirror he keeps with an extendable handle that allows him to check his anus. Here is how we know this is not true:

 

1.       Why would Donald Trump - or anyone - keep checking their anus? There is no reason to.

2.       Donald Trump is the busiest man in the world. He doesn’t have the time to check his anus as often as people say he does. If he was to check his anus even half the amount of times people allege, he wouldn’t be able to get anything done.

3.       Donald Trump is the richest man in the world. If he wanted to check his anus he could pay for someone to do it rather than do it himself - or he could design a contraption that could be placed in his backside to monitor his anus for him without the need to constantly check 

 

CONCLUSION: FAKE NEWS

 

 

3. DONALD TRUMP HAS A TWIN BROTHER WHO IS KEPT CHAINED IN A BASEMENT

The rumour goes that Donald Trump has a twin brother called Monty who is kept chained in a basement and thrown pieces of meat and scrambled egg. Debunk facts:

 

1.       Donald Trump is not a cruel man

2.       Monty is an English name - not a SCOTTISH name. Donald Trump’s ancestry is Scottish. If he had a retarded brother kept in a basement he would be called Jimmy, Jock or Angus -  Scottish names.

3.       Donald Trump lives on the top floor Penthouse of Trump Towers - YOU CAN’T HAVE A BASEMENT IF YOU’RE ON THE TOP FLOOR

 

CONCLUSION: FAKE NEWS

 

4. DONALD TRUMP IS ACTUALLY PAUL FROM THE WONDER YEARS

Some snowflakes are saying that Donald Trump is actually Paul from the Wonder Years. 

 

1.       The Wonder Years ran between 1988 and 1993 - that means Donald Trump would have been 44 years old whilst playing a 12 year old boy - something that would have been impossible to pull off with the technology available to Hollywood at the time - and difficult still to this day

2.       Donald Trump is not an actor - he is absolutely 100% the real thing at all times and gives you ALWAYS the truth. Actors are the opposite of the truth - literally living fake news their entire lives - pretending to be other people and saying things that aren’t even their own thoughts

3.       A quick google will show you that Paul from the Wonder Years actually grew up to be the rockstar Marilyn Manson.

 

CONCLUSION: FAKE NEWS

 

 

5. DONALD TRUMP TAKES LAXATIVES AND DELIBERATELY SHITS HIMSELF

This conspiracy theory states that Donald Trump takes laxatives in order to deliberately shit himself. 

 

1.       Donald Trump is the most successful businessman in the world. That simply would not be possible if you kept shitting yourself in meetings

2.       Donald Trump is married to the most beautiful woman in the world. It is hard to believe Donald Trump would be able to marry that woman if he constantly had poo in his trousers

3.       If Donald Trump DID take laxatives in order to mess his pants - you would be able to tell from the reaction of people around him. They would react as if they were disgusted by him. The fact is people are not. They love him. They would not love him if he smelled of faeces and had excrement visibly coming out of his trouser legs.

CONCLUSION: SUPER FAKE NEWS

 

So next time one of these liberals comes at you with one of these Fake News - you are armed with the facts to put them in their place. 


 

Pass on this link so others can help debunk the lies being spread about our president.

 

God bless you and God bless America!!