ARE THE DEMOCRATS USING SOUND WAVES TO TARGET REPUBLICAN TESTICLES?
We should all know by now that there is no low to which the Democrats won’t go in order to take over America and assert their globalist agenda. Their plan to barcode all of humanity is no longer a secret and nor are their dirty tactics to achieve it. From faking Kenyan Barack Obama’s American citizenship so that he can become America’s second radical Islamic President after Ulysses S. Grant, to putting fluoride into buffalo wings served on Super Bowl Sunday as a system of mind control - the Democrats are ruthless in their drive for domination and control.
But even so, it still comes as a shock to learn that the Democrats are willing to strike at decent Americans by hitting them literally below the belt…
After trying to investigate the cause behind low birth-rates in what appeared to be random areas - data analysts discovered that those areas with low birth-rates were actually disproportionately located in areas close by or next to Democrat offices.
Their biggest shock was yet to come, when tests using acoustic analogue recordings revealed that targeted sound waves were being used by Democrats based in these offices to target the testicles of republican voters.
These weaponised sound waves have been used to wage two kinds of attack on Republican testicles - one kind of attack for each ball.
The left testicle, which controls sperm production, (the spermo-ball), was targeted by a sound frequency that diminished the amount of sperm created - thus rendering the victim less likely to conceive and in many cases - infertile. This was an attempt to reduce the birth of future Republican voters.
The right testicle which controls testosterone, (the testo-ball), was targeted by a different frequency that breaks down the man’s testosterone - with the result that the victim becomes more liberal, more whiney, more likely to favour gun control, and more likely to vote Democrat.
And the plan has worked.
In areas with a strong Democratic presence it has been shown that Republicans are on the decline and gun ownership is negligible - a direct result of the war on balls of the men who live there.
The scariest part is - these Democratic attacks on the nether regions of honest Americans are actually changing election results.
In one swing state the Democrats won the vote by 0.4% - a difference of only eleven testicles.
You can be certain that if this was the other way round and secret sound waves were being targeted at the groins of Democratic voters from covert sound cannons operated by Republican volunteers in an attempt to change election results - the mainstream media would not stop talking about it.
However, the balls of Republican voters are seen as fair game in liberal America and there has not been a single peep about this expose in a single mainstream news outlet - even though what’s occurring is nothing short of testicular terrorism.
Thanks to alternative news sites and the painstaking research of true patriot bloggers such as yours truly, we can bypass the information streams of the elites that try to control us.
Knowledge is power.
Although it is small solace given the vile nature of these Democratic ball control techniques, many readers (and I count myself one of them), will at least be relieved to know that their low sperm count is the result of Democrat interference with their testicles - and not the consumption of beer, caffeine, nicotine, Dr Pepper and Mountain Dew as the mainstream media has previously led us to believe.
Be warned though - if the Democrats can swing an election with just eleven testicles, this foul un-American practise will continue as we go forward into the future.
So for now, all true patriots are advised to take measures to protect their manhoods and avoid being turned into Democrats.
Fortunately, the solution is a simple one.
It has been shown that tin foil is not only useful for blocking Democrat mind control techniques when worn on the head - it can also be used to protect your testicles and the next generation of Republican voters who will emerge from them by blocking out the malevolent sound waves.
By lining your underpants with tin foil you can sleep easier at night and go around your daily business with peace of mind that your testicles remain red, white and blue.
Democrats be warned - you no longer have us by the balls.
We will continue to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!