Where IS Donlad Trump?

He came to power riding a wave of unprecedented popularity. America has never had a president who was so loved. He was voted in because of his common sense promises: most notably that he would immediately build a wall keeping out the Mexicans. 

 

Yet nearly two years later this wall has not been built. 

 

Why? 

 

As the most honest politician this country has ever known there is no way Donald Trump would have made a promise he didn’t plan to keep. 

 

So why hasn’t this promise come to pass? 

 

We can only come to one conclusion: Donald Trump has been hidden inside a shipping container in the Atlantic and replaced by a liberal-leaning lookalike...

 

All things point to the possibility that Trump was put in a shipping container - maybe even on the evening of his inauguration - and that a doppelgänger has been leading America for the past two years - with even Melania hoodwinked by the liberal sleight of hand.

 

Let’s be real - the motivation was always there. There was no way the powerful elite were prepared to let a man of the people such as Donald Trump run THEIR show. 

 

And so he was placed inside a container set permanently at sea - replaced by a highly trained drama student who jumped at the chance to play the role of most powerful man in the free world. 

 

From there he was trained up by a coterie of actors from the Hollywood liberal elite, including George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, Meryl Streep and Chachi from Happy Days. 

 

Learning the speech patterns, mannerisms, and even toilet habits of America’s first real People’s President he was ready to go. 

 

For the lucky student it was the job of a lifetime. 

 

For the people of America it was no such luck...

 

Not only is the lack of a border wall proof that the man who calls himself Donald Trump isn’t really Donald Trump - but we can point to the following evidence:

 

1.       Pre-election Donald Trump was the most eloquent politician the world has ever known. However since he came to power his statements and ideas seem increasingly incoherent, irrational and even deranged - not the master of words we elected.

2.       Trump was one of the healthiest men in the world - often running two or more marathons back to back. However now he seems fat, overweight and sluggish - evidence that Trump has been switched with an out of shape lookalike.

3.       The Donald Trump we elected was a handsome good looking man. The Trump of today - less so - with some even likening his face to a popped elephant’s hemorrhoid - something that can only be attributed to the poor prosthetics of the Trump Double’s make up team.  

 

This is not the first time high ranking figures in American life have been replaced with body doubles. Some past instances include

 

Franklin Roosevelt

George W Bush

Neil Sedaka

James Stewart

Billy Ray Cyrus

Macauley Culkin

Shirley Temple

Harpo Marx

 

The question is: what do we do next? 

 

With over seventeen million shipping containers and over 100,000 merchant ships in the world - it is unlikely Trump will ever be found and he is likely to live out the rest of his days inside a metal crate.


 

 

So all those who wish to make America great again are faced with a choice that goes against their natural instincts: vote out the Trump. 

 

But they can do so knowing that the man they think is Donald Trump is no longer Donald Trump - just a well trained drama student who has Hollywood actors including Bill Cosby, Ray Liotta and Peewee Herman helping him daily with regular speech, dance, movement , improv and drama classes - helping him to act like Trump - but to secretly push through liberal policies and elite agendas.